Saturday 21 May 2022

Life Lessons - through bliss, blessings & beauty spread by these Bulbuls

Tears of joy 

Tears of joy  - Mrs & Mr Universe / Best Parents / The Bold and The Beautiful

Am choking with tears as I pen these thoughts….I know that ‘this too shall pass’, but wanted to at least register to myself this blessed moment. 

Also, I know the trope of our ‘anthropomorphic’ lens of looking at the lives of these birds and so painting layers that possibly don’t exist. But then there is no other way to look at it!

New Neighbors

Out of the blue…..this beautiful couple decided to move-in and bless our lives by building their nest on the Banana plant. And what followed over the next few days has been a traumatic, joyful and very lively life for our family.

Also – forced us to look hard at ‘what is life’ and the way we are getting on with it.


New Arrivals

We watched the Mom brooding the three eggs right through the first week. We were picking up the tunes / ways of our new neighbors by now.

And then on fine day there were 3 fresh arrivals. From that day on both parents were super busy fetching seeds, fruits, insects and what-not to keep the ever hungry tiny-tots satiated.

Through the first week we watched the babies slowly grow in size, gain feathers and become more demanding for food as soon as one of the parents arrives.  

While the Mom fed the chicks  - it was an absolute pleasure seeing the overjoyed Dad just flying all around, above, below the nest and doing good surveillance while making pleasant cooing noises. This will remain the perfect picture of 'true happiness' for me !


Terror Strikes

One of these happy days almost ended and as we sat down for dinner - there was a sudden commotion near the banana plant and we realized the local rogue, neighbors cat, had jumped at the nest. By the time we rushed out and scared the cat away - it was already fleeing with two of the chicks in its mouth. We chased and made the cat drop them - but by then it was too late for the two.

There was a complete disarray around the nest, the banana leaves protecting it, the few shrubs etc we placed around to protect it from the cat. It had ripped through these by jumping very high and coming down on the nest. 

It was already quite dark and both parents were nowhere to be seen.....the third chick inside the nest appeared dead - and we were inconsolable that night at the plight of such a happy family.

A whole new day

The crack of dawn had seen our own family in a very distressed state at the meaninglessness of life and the devastating tragedy we had witnessed the last night. 

It was with such heavy hearts that we saw the mother bird come and check the remains in the nest.....it was a very depressing sight. After some time we saw that the Mom and Dad were back to their duty of fetching food for the nest ! And then we saw that the third chick was alive and well. It was a huge  relief and we thanked God for this !

It had been raining right through the night - and the chick had survived the cold night all alone. The zeal the parents were now putting into feeding the chick, drove us also into action and we did our bit in thoroughly fortifying the nest / banana tree with thorns and such so as to ensure the cat wouldn't mess around again.  




Regardless of the odds, when it is time you 'Wing it'

Over the next 4 days we saw the parents totally dedicated in feeding the kid right through. It was a great illustration for all of us about the love, affection and sacrifices that parents make ! We were also on our guard and kept watch right through, shooing the cat away whenever it came lurking around - no doubt scheming its own dark designs. 

The parents were relentless in prodding the kid to take flight…..



Finally on the fifth attempt, the kid winged 4-5 short flights and reached our neighbor’s backyard. The cat was prowling around – and the parents were both perched on that side possibly distracting the cat with their sounds. 

But then the kid stopped moving, possibly tired, and was just a meter away from the cat behind a shoe rack. The parents were monitoring the cat as well as the kid as can be seen in below video - but it was too risk as it would take a split-second for the cat to pounce on the chick if it senses it. 


Despite both the parents squeaking and making sorties over me - I picked up and returned the kid to the nest and came into the house (for a window-view of the nest). The parents already zeroed in on the kid and started cuddling + feeding it right away. The parents now were focused on getting the kid all the energy it needed by feeding it on a war footing....


And then towards afternoon the parents prodded the kid for more sally to taking flight.....and this time the kid did keep trying and went quite far away in its short flights. The parents were busy following it and also kept coming back to the cat to keep it distracted and move in some other direction. But then it started raining.....and then heavily and we lost contact with the family as it moved on.

Big lesson - life is fraught with risks. But when it is time, go for it 100% and give it all you have. Half measures wont do at all. 

 

Meow

Splintered moment

Bird calls

Peal of life

Nest

is just a phase of life

 

`

`

The cat meows and terror runs through my body as I involuntarily brace up to rush out……only to then realize that ‘all is well’, the birds are gone and safe…Thank goodness!

Morning starts with the squeaks of bird calls filtering into the house – and amongst them as I hear the peal of a Bulbul’s call - I rush out to catch a glimpse of the Angel.

`

The bare nest has been staring at us since the family has moved on.  Makes one think - this must be the meaning of 'Vanaprastha' as well. As our kids take wing, and our nest has served its purpose: no point hanging on to it. We possibly also need to move on into something more convenient, that serves the purpose.`

 

 

 

 

 









Wednesday 11 October 2017

Language Mishapps...

Given the quirks of English language, it is easy to make unintentional but wrong usage. Thankfully this is easily remedied by just being ‘aware’ of the pitfalls!

From time to time I keep pointing these out to people I interact with, but today I thought I will make a decent note and I intend to keep adding to this ‘Donts’ list going forward ! Request submissions from your experience also – as welcome additions to this initial list !

  1. Few / Little – Example of wrong usage is ‘I have few friends'. This statement really means ‘I have no friends at all’ and so it is a very sad/negative statement. Intention was actually to state ‘I have some friends’. So it is better use ‘some’ instead of ‘few’ to avoid this trap. If at all we need to use few….then we need to be careful and qualify it with ‘a few’ instead of ‘few’: ‘I have a few friends’. 
  • Same is the case for ‘little’: if we write ‘There is little time left to....' it actually means 'There is almost no time left to....' ! So here also better to use ‘some’ or ‘a little’ instead of just ‘little’.

  1. ‘Improvised’ – Does not mean ‘improved upon’. It means ‘quickly cobble up something’ and actually in many occasions (where it is being used) connotes a negative message ‘ad-hoc act in a hurried manner to make up for lack of advance preparation’.  

  1. Query / Clarification – Example of wrong usage is ‘Attached document on this…..Please write to me if you have any clarifications on this document’ – What was actually meant is ‘if you have any queries’. Or better to write ‘…if you need any clarifications..’.

  1. Adapt / Adopt – Example of wrong usage is ‘We have adapted Testing-Automation in our pilot projects’. We are not ‘modifying Testing-Automation to suit our purposes’ nor are we ‘changing ourselves and our processes to fall in line with expectations of Testing-Automation’ (this is the meaning of Adapt…Adaptation). What we really needed to use was ‘Adopt’ meaning – we have ‘made Testing-Automation part of our own processes' (as we 'adopt' a child into our family).

  1. ‘I am afraid’/ ‘Suspect’ / ‘Doubt’ – Example of wrong usage is ‘I am afraid we will make the Release in time’ whereas the intention was to communicate the bad-news / risk that the Release-timeline will slip. Whenever ‘I am afraid….’ is used, it has to be followed by the negative statement itself. So the correct statement is: ‘I am afraid we will not make the Release in time’.
          Extending this example for usage of ‘suspect’ and ‘doubt’ – the correct usages are:  

  • ‘I suspect we will not make the Release in time’ (usage same as for ‘I am afraid’)
  • ‘I doubt if we will make the Release in time’  (usage opposite from ‘I am afraid’)

Tuesday 17 November 2015

Rogue in Vogue - Freakonomics !




Freakonomics – A Rogue EconomistSteven D. Levitt & Stephen J. Dubner

I like the ‘Rogue’ part……..has the right amount of irreverence and mockery to convention as is done by some of the other 21st century lingo of ours:


All of which snook at the corporate straight-facedness.
It is also in keeping with the latest edition of:  

The book is also unconventional from the angle of teasing out answers for disparate but interesting curiosities……so the title of this could as well have been ‘Problem Solving Skills – applied to the questions you always had but never knew how to solve!’.

Steven is an Economist with an uncanny ability to solve these social issues from an Economist standpoint. Normally these questions can be debated in any which way one wants to using conventional wisdom. But in here, using a ‘treasure-hunt approach’ and analytical-tools of Economics the author has a go at solving these issues with an unconventional wisdom in knowing what & how to measure relevant parameters:

What is common between Sumo Wrestlers and School teachers ?

Steven brings his analytical eye to this cheating and human behavior cracking the tough nuts of such diverse domains. Summary from this chapter:

·        Money doesn’t win elections
·        Drinking 7 bottles of water a day doesn’t really help
·       Introducing a low monetary penalty for a default – will legitimize the mistake morally and encourage it actually. Baby sitting of toddlers for late pick-ups by parents illustrates this point.
·        People are honest about 87% of the time even though no one is watching them. This is drawn from data of a bagel business with corporate employees free to pay by themselves without monitoring.

How are Ku-Klux-Klan (KKK) Members like Real-Estate Agents?

‘Information Is King’:

·    The KKK met its waterloo when its operational details (roles/rituals/activities…) were disassembled and circulated to all by a certain Kennedy to the public at large.
·    Similarly Real-Estate Agents play on their advantage of having deeper and broader real-estate data and information. However studies reveal that a Real-Estate Agent don’t wait for the best deal possible…..their business thrives on throughput and so after a certain basic asking price is met and minimum shelf-life has passed, the incremental % commission they earn does not warrant waiting on  for a possible higher sale value which the Seller might be more interested in! Online Internet Portals for Rentals could prove to be their Nemesis !
·      Life Insurance Premium peddlers have met similar fate when the best policies in the market are available for ready comparison through online portals.
·        Same is the case for Second-hand-car prices, Casket sales etc.

However there is a slight variation of this in the case of Dentals (root-canal is an almost blind prescription  I understand for any dental ailment just as full diagnostic tests are becoming a norm for any ailment !) and Surgical Deliveries (compared to natural/normal deliveries of babies) etc – where the patients are preyed upon by the ‘Experts’ with a ‘Fear’ factor: why take a risk when the sure option is before you ?

·      In my opinion this has further exacerbated in a different angle due to publicity-quotient gained by the double hysterectomy case of Angelina Jolie. 

Why Do Drug Dealers Still Live with Their Moms?

With some meticulous analysis of the drug-money-accounting that serendipitously comes by the way of the author – it is shown that the hierarchy of Drug-Mafia is very similar to any McDonald's sort of MNC Corporate hierarchy! And the comparison extends to the kind of ridiculous salaries the top-honchos earn compared to the toiling-worker at the bottom of the crushing pyramid. So Drug Dealers stay with their Moms because they don’t earn enough to move out on their own!

·        Its not clear if some of the well paid dealers also stay with their parents? Have a suspicion about a cultural angle at play here (may be this is my Hollywood framed self speaking – since most peddlers I see in movies are of Latin-American / African origins) – knowing that Americans typically make a fetish out of moving / staying away from their parents. For many cultures including Indian and I suppose many Latin American countries as well – staying with parents is nothing downtrodden nor to be looked down upon at all actually. In fact the other way around is true! Though I must admit things are moving out the American way….

·        Have seen a similar theme in a book I came across recently viz. ‘Who will cry when you die’. This title doesnt fit to be the raison d'être of a persons life and it does sound like making amends for a guilty-feeling for a life lived well and then for dying (isnt it a paradox ? sounds confusing enough: one needs to live so that maximum people 'quality/really' cry after one dies ! Reminds me of Nietche's joke in his 'Thus Spake Zorathustra' where a preacher teaches unto his followers the purpose of life thus: 'To Sleep Well' ! As only a clean soul free of all jealousy/envy/greed,  and who has honestly toiled right through the day earns a well deserved sleep from exhaustion). But I guess this is not the only unimportant aspect of life that is becoming the norm of today's world. For sure there are also no right/wrong issues involved here. Its a matter of a different point-of-view ! At least that is what I tell myself every morning when I see my neighbors drop their kid in a car - to cover a distance of about 20 meters to the gate (from here the school bus picks up) since it is getting wet (clouds) and cold (20 degrees centigrade) nowadays !

Where Have All the Criminals Gone?

With some meticulous analysis of various top-contestant theories – the author arrives at the best possible explanation for reduction of crime in the US starting the 90s : this is the legalization of abortion in the early 70s !

What Makes a Perfect Parent?

Risk = hazard + outrage.

A long drawn and silent death by heart-disease attracts no outrage compared to a dreadful gunshot. The ‘hazard’ in terms of % is much higher for a heart-disease or a swimming-pool (due to accidental deaths therein) are than a Gun-possession. But due to lack of sufficient outrage it loses out to Gun-theme which draws more attention (either way) !

  • Similarly while the gain of using a car-seat-belt for toddlers is infinitesimal, the outrage at an odd parent (even to those parents) for not spending the $ 200 odd amount for this thing for whatever it does (or doesn’t) to protect their precious baby just does not stick. These are the parents who are obviously proud to have spent the $200 for this unnecessary contraption (even in case they are made to see this fact).  This is a variation of the fear-factor we discussed earlier. The author gives some more examples of such kind: child-resistant-packaging, flame-retardant pajamas, keeping children away from airbags in cars, and safety draw-strings on children’s clothing.
  • What does it matter if parents are manipulated by experts and marketers? Shouldn’t we applaud any effort, regardless of how minor or manipulative, that makes even one child safer?

On the Nature-Nurture Debate on the effectiveness of parenting, again Steven gets cracking on data and comes out corroborating some of the age-old truths we have always possibly known -

  • top-down influence of parents is overwhelmed by the grassroots effect of peer pressure, the blunt force applied each day by friends and school-mates.
  • it isn’t so much a matter of what you do as a parent; it’s who you are.
  • even in adopted children, the nurture effect takes place in the long run – if not in the immediate test-scores of the school going kid which might reflect the genetics of the child!

Thursday 12 November 2015

The Winner Effect

The Winner Effect: The science of success and how to use it  – Ian Robertson



This brilliant masterpiece gives us lot of insights into winning and losing, domineering partners (and how couples get into such a 1-0 situation) and much much more. It is especially delightful because each of the subtle insights from neuroscience research are nailed down with very vivid descriptions using scores of real-life examples from well known personalities/events (Tony Blair, Bill Clinton, Picasso, Sarkozy, Einstein, Napolean, Hitler…..) and experiments. Because of all these vivid illustrations – the below summary is at best a drab and colorless outline.

Ø  Are Winners born or have to earn their success? 

Insights:

·        Breeding/Born-into-right-family and even Wealthy definitely helps. But at the same time:
o   believing that one is endowed with winner’s qualities can leave some people demoralized and psychologically crippled !
o   the rich, born-to-win children spent more time either on their own or with adults other than their parents (than the poorer children) and they therefore also felt less emotionally close to their parents (who have much higher opportunity cost for their time).
o   Motivation is a crucial ingredient for success in life. Once the internal motivator is activated, people put their body and soul into their work with little thought for how much they are paid. However for the internal motivator to be switched on as a child – it needs some cajoling/encouraging/string-arming/forcing from parents & teachers. Without this external spur – the child may never get over the hump to reach a stage where achieving the activity becomes intrinsically rewarding. Knowing the presence of a huge fortune – can sabotage this initial effort/goalpost to climb up the hump making this motivation internalized.
o   Setting demanding but attainable targets (neither too high nor too low) consistently does the trick for winners in general.  If your parents are geniuses how can you set goals that don’t look trivial? Definitely an issue in cases of kids with overzealous parents. It helps if parents:
      • explain the arduous path to their success instead of ‘hiding the ladder’ (to boost their own ego that they were born genius) so to speak!
      • make kids see the activities as learning-focused rather than performance-focused (comparative performance, passing a judgment on their self-esteem rather than just the activity).
      • help kids achieve an ‘incremental’ attitude – by replacing ‘I am no good at Maths’ thought to ‘I didn’t like Maths at school and lost interest in it’, or ‘I am no good at sports’ to ‘I need to find a sport that suits my abilities’.
      • rather than praise them for being ‘bright’, praise them for their consistency of efforts and grit (both these are within their control – and help them improve upon going forward as well !).

Ø  Feeling and behaving like winners – already boosts our chances of success!  The body language of a winner is apparent to others as well immediately further adding to the winning spirit !

Ø  Having a stack of wins before the big match always helps……so its a good idea to take and crack some easier exams before coming to grips with the real challenger ! The winning streak is not just an emotional or positive attitude thing effecting the conscious and unconscious mind, it actually changes the physical constituents enabling the success formula in the brain/body!

Ø  Having belief that you have control on your life protects one from the ravages of stress. Those who believe this will use their power to manipulate both internal as well as external resources so as to remain in control. Winners also live longer because it strengthens their belief in their self and their control over the world and this belief inoculates them against the effects of stress on their bodies!

Ø  One of the major burdens always weighing on the mind is acceptance by others. Winning  allays this stress from a threat of rejection by others and removes a major stress from the lives of Winners.

Ø  Power blinds people to the societal needs and overall good – making them ego-centric and making them believe in their godly status and fall for the ‘Gamblers fallacy’ – going by their infallible gut feel, their killer-instinct: at the cost of common sense. Its always good to have old friends and family members have a check on oneself – if one is still being sane ! This is no laughable matter –as illustrated by the colossal damages caused by the demi-gods running the show at Enron, RBS and Lehman Bros (and to quote historic events – ‘The Russian solstice’ of Napolean and later by Hitler). Overnight the decisions and behavior of these once revered figures – look astoundingly ridiculous in retrospect, possibly even to these very guys. But when the heat is on – all the crème-de-la-crème are part of this group-think and set out to out-run each other at the new game, while ostracizing any sane/questioning voices that may come up.

Ø  The opposite effect is also true – our best performance is indeed limited to the glass ceiling we unconsciously develop about our abilities over a period of time. This again is the ‘Winners born’ attitude in a negative way. Question all your conscious and unconscious limitations! With focused practice you could crack that high-score now just to yourself if not for anyone else!

Ø  Finally, the win for the ‘I’ is a race that can never be won because ‘I’ itself is a combination of all the reflections of one’s network of relationships and interactions in this world. So going after the ‘I’ brings with it all the unconscious prejudices and stereotypes in our own and others’ brains. Real winners thrive on being able to have an impact and do not cripple themselves by believing their success to be due to inherited, unchangeable qualities.

Wednesday 30 September 2015

My brush with Toastmasters

Below are two speeches of mine – during the brief period I had become involved with Toastmasters recently.
  • First one is the prepared-speech CC1-Icebreaker speech ‘Introducing myself’.
  • Second one is the prepared-speech CC2- ‘Books Books Books’

Monday 18 July 2011

Hands and Heart on the job....

It is raining here in The Netherlands
A cloudy season and crazy winds blurring all directions
Umbrellas are of no help nor any wands
Everyone reaches office and home wet and blown
Wistfully thinking about the always sunny distant lands

Sometimes the Sun does pop out round and bright
All and sundry just stop and relish the bonus of the moment
And behold the riot of colors that come alive in the golden sunlight
Mere mortals can neither conjure up nor telepathise the Gods that be
But just chug along connecting the dots till the next inspiring sight